Skip to content

Checklist of the Parasites of Fishes of Latvia

Not really about Latvian fishes

Category Archives: Media

Our logo is the dithering Blue Jay

DITHERING…announce to the world in what you are partaking! From Siam to the Mosquito Coast, there are acquaintences to be had!

BASIC RULE OF DITHERING. A “Dither” must be no longer than 270 words; a mere Gettysburg Address. That number should suffice. If you feel that 270 words is insufficient, then by all means compose a multitude of Dithers.

YOU MUST SHOW ALL DITHERERS REPECT AND BONHOMIE. Assuming they are white property-holders, that is. If an errant woman finds her way onto Dither, then kindly focus her attention onto other, more feminine pursuits.

DITHERS WILL BE REMOVED FROM THE WOOD-BOARD EVERY SECOND DAY. All Dithers and Re-dithers will be affected.

YOU MUST SIGN-ON WHENEVER YOU POST. Not everybody can sign with an “X”. If you are illiterate, you may ask someone else to compose a dither in your place.

SAMPLE DITHERS from Ness Creek, Nebr. ditherboard to arouse your interest:

@SheriffSamMacGuffin: To residents of Ness Creek, please do not leave horse-piles at the entrance to Ned’s Apothecary. There be valuable medicaments within, and horse-piles tend to contaminate the vials. If yer horse needs to defacate, then use the gutter next to Coleman’s General Store.

@ChiefThunderFeather: In the name of the Sky-Spirit, respect my claim in Henderson’s Gorge. It was willed by me by the U.S. Government in 1859, the deed signed by Governor Bullard Talcolmblatt of Nebraska Territory himself. If I see another White Man prospecting in my Gorge, I will send an arrow into his penis.

@SheriffSamMacGuffin: If anybody knows the identity of the horse-rapist bring it to my attention. The horse-rapist has been spooking various other beasts of burden as well.

@KnickerbockerWHPennywhipple: Dear Sirs, if you intend to impune my honor then I shall be waiting in the Main Thoroughfare at 7 sharp in the A.M., accompanied by my pistol and manservant.

@SheriffSamMacGuffin: There will be a Whisky and Poker Social held at Larson’s Tavern this Tuesday evening, to welcome our new residents, Kraut homesteaders headed by Mr. Adolf Horscht.

@X: I don’t like seeing no niggers, chinks, wops, and hebrews round here

@PastorMichaelMallory: Blessed be the prospectors. For salvation, visit my Church on East Dirt Street.

@LarsonsTavern: Fer the best Whores and Whisky and Poker, visit Larson’s Tavern. E.G. Larson, Proprietor.

@TheTownDrunk: Done pissed myself agin. Anyone know a pants-merchant here or in Bellows Ridge? Aint got no spare trousers. I wont do no business with no Chinaman either.

@X: I fucked Sheriff MacGuffin’s pig, real good like, and got a hankerin’ to do it again.

@LadyChatterley: Hello boys, I got the feminine touch you crave. Lice-free since 1878. I take two baths a month. No lesions or unwelcome odors. Will satisfy any fantasy you have, except ones involving mules. No Chinamen please.

@TheOldGeneral: Been having night terrors again. Did the South lose the War? I don’t even know anymore. Can’t sleep worth a damn. Been trying to extract a rosin ball from my rectum. It got there by accident.

@SheriffSamMacGuffin: Someone has been stealing ladies’ undergarments from the General Store. Now, we don’t have many women in this town, but the few who reside here need fresh undergarments from time to time. The General Store is now out of undergarments, and we won’t get a shipment for 3 months. So will the crook(s) return the undergarments, after scrubbing off any personal material. I pledge that I will not prosecute the undergarment-thieves at this time.

@KwokTheChinaman: Anybody need ride to Jerricho Springs? My carriage real nice and clean. Friendly and safe drivers. We are all certified safe coachmen. We not look at you either, especially white ladies. You may spit on us if you please, just pay us fairly.

@Huxley_Exslave: Im no dermint loaffer Im good wukker yessir been fum Alabam yessir can drive piles lift impements fish driftwood cure sciatica Im easy to find just holler Huxley I be Huxley

@XTheSouthLivesOnX: Hello y’all I done moved into Ness Creek or whatnot  looking for an escaped negro named Hussey or Huxby. I don’t care about the Emancipation whatnot never heard of it. I catch negros; it’s my job or whatnot. Hussey will come up to you and says he can lift impediments this is a LIE. If this occurs holler for Fungo Huckabee. Huckabee, the Name You Trust in Negrocatchin’.

@SherriffSamMacGuffin: This so-called ‘Negrocatcher’ in town, goes by the name Huckabee, fancies himself a lawman. Well, I hate to break it to him, but there is only one Lawman in Ness Creek, and his name is MACGUFFIN. If there are any loose slaves, or single ladies, or Buddhists that need catchin’, MacGuffin is the one to call on. Please re-dither this if you care about the LAW.

Here at Dithering we are tasked with CHANGING THE WORLD. Powered by Andemann’s Internal Combustion Engines of York Grove, Iowa.

رفض عدد من المتظاهرين تورم في شوااnude strumpet استقالته من مجلس الوزراء المصري يوم الاثنين وقالت انها ستكون راضية إلا إذا القادة العسكريين في البلاد توافق على التنازل عنWNBA السلطة بحلول الصيف الم
مع مسيرة أخرى الكبرى المقرر عقده يومCrotchView الثلاثاء، كان واضحا ان الاشتباكات العنيفة التي بدأت في مطلع الاسبوع والتي تشكل أخطر تحد لاجراء عسكريvagina monologues على السلطة منذ أن سيطرت على البلاد في فبراير شباط.
كما pantysnifferالعرض استقالة من الحكومة المدعومة من الجيش ليلة امسDes Moines الاثنين، احتشد المصريين في ميدان التحرير يهتفون شعارات ضد المجلسScarlett Johansson العسكري. اشتبكت شرطة مكافحة الشغب لليوم الثالث على التوالي محتجين من رماة الحجارة مع الغاز المسيل للدموع والرصاص المغلف بالمطاط.
كانت هناك تقارير إعلامية متضاربة حول ما إذا كان الجنرالات قد قبلت الاستقالة ، وقال متحدث باسم الجيشbroomstick in buttanus اتصلت به هاتفيا وقال انه لا يمكنه القول ما اذا كان الجنرالات قد قبلت ذلك.
وبدا الزعماء السياسيين من مختلف الانتماءات الأيديولوجية لتلتحم الاثنين semenjunkieحول لائحة من المطالب.Texas cheergirls كان المفتاح بين لهم ان القادة العسكريين التنازل عن السلطة للمسؤولين المنتخبين قبل الصيف، بدلا من التمسك الإطار الانتقال الوقت Amanda Knoxالحالي، والتي يمكن أن تترك لهم في السيطرة لمدة تصل الى عامينHerman Cain آخرينTHE PENIS DOMINATES.
Post filed under SEXXX

Washington Post: A shy young boy, innocent and free of the world’s devastating burdens?

“I didn’t molest him!”

New York Times: A sweet little girl, holding a lollipop and playing hop-scotch?

“I didn’t molest her!”

The Daily Malaysian: A macaque, rough and slightly oily fur; his orange eyes look right into your soul?

“I didn’t molest it!”

Cat Fancy: A weasel, slithering around the bedroom with a contempt for you and your public religiosity, knowing full-well that you are a sick and perverted individual?

“I didn’t molest it!”

South Sudan Shopper: A West Nile mosquito, ready to suck you off and give you a nasty disease?

“I didn’t molest that!”

Geologist Monthly: A piece of granite, its speckled visage impenetrable by mere flesh?

“I didn’t molest it!”

Long Black A decomposed turd, hard and black and long?

“I didn’t molest it!”

Airport News: A Boeing 787 Dreamliner, parked at Gate 4?

“I didn’t molest it!” A picture of David Freese as a little leaguer?

“I didn’t molest him!”

High School Scholar: A well-worn copy of Catcher in the Rye that smells like hamster shavings?

“I didn’t molest it!”

Beverages In Focus: An inviting bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper with the large opening?

“I didn’t molest that!”

New England Getaways: The morning mist over Lake Coccapannoxis in a New England autumn?

“I didn’t molest it!”

The Watchtower: A dress sock deposited in a rain gutter?

“I didn’t molest it!”

Oh to be young and a corporate shill

Tammy Scharfe, 21, Belleville IL

Synopsis: We found her behind a Chick-Fil-A in Collinsville flashing her boobs to Bears fans. Producer Glen asked her what she thought of being a Fox Sports Girl and she said her boyfriend loved to watch sports in prison and that she was a pretty big mud wrestling fan. We gave her a video camera and told her to shoot herself, promote Fox Sports, as if she were at a Cardinals event. We never saw the camera again, but got some amateur video in the mail a few weeks later. She (presumably Tammy) was on a boat. Couldn’t see her face very well; only tattoos and hair.

Brittannee Mansfield, 19, Jersey County IL

Synopsis: She stumbled into our office asking about a secretary job. Her spunkiness got the attention of Max the PR guy. Max asked her what books she was reading and she mentioned Cosmo Girl and cereal boxes. Then asked if she liked sports and said her father liked hats. Got her in a video at once where she twirled around and shouted. Secretary skills non-existent, however. She couldn’t find the keyboard.

Ashleye Collins, 20, Granite City IL

Synopsis: A little fat. Told her to stop eating Combos and Funyuns and made her sign a waiver. Still wears her g-string above her jean shorts – what is this, 2002? However she LOVES the Cards, Rams, and Blues. Energy is infectious. Possible skin rash is infectious. Did a video where she sang a Xtina song. Barely fits into a ladysize Matt Holliday shirsey. May only want to video her from the waist up and nose down.

Sara Giniotti, 18, South St. Louis

Synopsis: Works the counter at Panera and thought we should bring her in. Perky, like a little hot tamale! She was grinding everybody in the room. Gave Samantha, our intern, a French kiss. Then grabbed Moose our cameraman in the crotch and he bore an erection for the next 20 minutes. Ruined his Wranglers. Kept asking how much she’d be paid. Asked what her future plans were and said she wanted to be a dental hygienist. Was trying to enroll at Kaplan.  Asked about sports and she dry humped a potted plant.

Muffy Warmbottom, 24, Country Life Acres

Synopsis: Elegantly strode into the room with a Victorian contempt for our workingmen. Asked if we had scotch jammies. Sat with the lightest effort. Asked if she watched Fox Sports and replied that foxes are rather sporting. Then regaled us with a tale of Sir Humphrey Lamplightner and his famed dalmatians. Nearly hired on the spot. We said that she would be doing spots for the Blues and Cardinals; she looked utterly lost. Explained hockey and baseball for next hour, she said it sounded too Cossack for her. But what a lady! Shortlisted for Fox Sports EPL coverage.

What mine eyes have seen

по Sergei Vladimirov, Кавказский Новости

Не так часто, что черный человек приходит играть в нашем городе. Мы здесь, на Кавказе, как правило, любят Dr. Dre черных мужчин.Большие и грязные и любятпропитывать наши женщины, давая затем наполовину черные дети, которые «black gangsta style» выглядят как армяне.Несколько лет назад, я бы плюнуть на любой черныйчеловек, который прошел мимо. Но теперь, после просмотра большого Samuel Eto’o, у меня меньше расизма в моем сердце «locomotive of cock».

Этот футболист является «silly Bigdick» удивительным. Я люблю наблюдать за ним ударшаров и победить врага, особенно, когда мой любимый Владикавказ бьетБаку и тех, метис персидской свиней. Я могу умереть счастливым, зная, что Баку «anal enforcer» является грустно в раздевалке. Они оскорбили их жалкие Бога и тысячипоколений их клана.

Когда я вижу его забить гол, по крови кипит, как будто я убил Shakil Oneal туркменскогоодной стороны, и еврей на другой. Мое сердце плачет мой воин-предков.После одного гол в ворота Одессы, Samuel Eto’o должна быть передана его черныесилы «ease up playa» изнасилование мужчина, потому что я изнасиловал многие женщиныпосле этого игра, наполненная «freestyle bitches» мечтами о футболе и жажда влагалище.

В любом случае, видя, что великолепный «laughing while Dagestanis get murdered» черный человек играют в футболявляется революцией для нас кавказские народы. Я буду дорожитьвоспоминаниями этот человек дал нам «swoop swoop niggaz». Я все еще может быть расистом, новозможно, я могу наконец-то черные люди над армянами в моей расовойдиаграмму иерархии. Армяне чуть «Bill Cosby» выше свиней. Свиньи прямо над евреями.

The unmolested Mr. Hartwell

DEAR READERS. – I am pleased to report my body and spirit have not been torn asunder by Mother Nature’s fury. Mighty Hermione has passed, and our – my – City has been no worse for wear.

Now that the Tempest has made its way up the Puritan Coast and onto the endless peninsulae of the Dominion of Canada, I must report that certain news-gathering corporations have, shall I say, over-estimated the impact of Hermione’s wrath. My fair tenement has had nary a mortar-brick displaced, nor have any vanity mirrors been tossed to the streets. This morning I ran into Mr. Charles Reekes Darrow, who was whistling as is his wont on a Sabbath, and we commented upon the apparent timidity of Hermione. Mr. Darrow blamed the whole episode on the Austro-Hungarians, who had a vested interest in the export of concrete horse-hitchers. I listened politely but I do not put the blame squarely on the oft-perfidious Habsbergs. I am inclined to blame the New York Harbinger, the Estimable Dispatch‘s main competitor.

It is the Harbinger that sent many a cub reporter to the nooks and corners of our City to report on the most mundane of wind-gusts and ferry-capsizes. On Friday evening, the offices of the Harbinger could barely keep their dispassionate composure as Shirt-Sleeve Factory No. 6 went up in flames; as it happened, not by Hermione but by an Irishman’s cigar placed carelessly upon a pile of Polish child workers. Of course, the debased Harbinger failed to correct their asumption. By Saturday morning, it was clear that the 116 regrettable deaths at the Factory were the product of a drunken Celt. I wish I could report even one death attributed to Hermione; alas I cannot.

My esteemed Dispatch made some reference to Hermione’s torrent, but our great editor Mr. Milton Flaffbabbler led with stories of the Phillipine and Iberian races who deign to thwart our American Empire. Mr. Flaffbabbler has a canny sense of the real issues of the day.

I am most gay to report that the City’s minority and immigrant species held their base instincts in check. My tenement abuts a Russian thoroughfare and none of those half-Mongoloids took advantage of nature’s caprice. My dearest friend Mr. Ronald Symington Moose, who lives near the Galician district, also relates that his local swarthies did not go beyond their station in life. Perhaps Anglo-German-Protestant civilizing has not been in vain.

It is on this note, dear readers, that I bid adieu and board a ship to the Congo to report on the hardships suffered by Belgian colonists.

Mr. Hartwell is a celebrated columnist of the Manhattan Estimable Dispatch, and we wish him well in darkest Africa. 

The award-winning scribe

By Archimedes J. Hartwell, urban crime & pestilence reporter of The Manhattan Estimable Dispatch

GOOD DAY. – Here I sit upon the docks and marvel at nature’s wrath. For within 48 hours, a great tempest will set upon this fair City. Her given name is Hermione; in general We are wont to call her a hurricane, typhoon, or feminine whirlwind. But no personal vibrating message-stick will calm this Hermione, no, we must wait her out, let her berate this City with all her might, and allow her to go not-so-quietly up the rest of the eastern seaboard: to old Boston, thence to the less-civilized realms of Nova Scotia and New-Found-Land.

What are New York’s gallant citizenry doing about this meteorological menace? Hwell. The fine gentlemen of the upper classes are heading inland. As I write there is an impressive line of horse-n-buggies and other assorted pack-mules and Negro and Irish help staff. Their fine housing will be shuttered for the duration of the Storm. There is no need to worry about the esteemed Mr. and Mrs. Thendyke nor should you harass yourself with dreadful visions involving Mr. George Abbott Puke, who is currently on his way to Pennsylvania. These paragons of society will carry on. After Hermione is safely away, these Men of Industry shall return.

As for the lower orders, anarchy reigns. One would hope these miscreants and ethnic leeches will control themselves, but life’s wisdom has taught me this is not the case. The Italians will no doubt start many a street battle; the pesky Irish will soak themselves in whisky; the Jews will scamper round the shadows like common rats; and I dare not entertain thoughts of the Negroes’ activities! With God’s grace they will not leave the City too much at a loss.

As for your humble reporter, I shall obtain a parasol and ride out this fusillade in my sturdy tenement. My neighbor Mr. George Emmett Lache is the foremost pinochle savant and I will do well to join him for a round or two. Pray for myself and this most hallowed of daily newspapers, my beloved Dispatch. Until next week, then. –