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Checklist of the Parasites of Fishes of Latvia

Not really about Latvian fishes

A hap encounter

Whilst walking amid the horse-dung and vomit strewn about the city walk, two old lovers converge for the first time in years. 

M: Lady Gwendolyn, is that you I see?

L: Mister Forthwind, dear lorde, I cannot believe my eyen!

M: It is so good to see you after all this time! [bows and lifts his cap]

L: Likewise, my dear sir. How hath thou been?

M: My second-born son just died of dropsy, and I have a nasty parasite that is feeding on my rectum. Otherwise I have been well. And thou, my lady?

L: Oh, thou know, constant pain and injustice that is a woman’s lot in life. I just left the menstruation shack yesterday and I have been walking off a case of the St. Anthony’s fire this morrow. You look quite the gentilesse, have you come into wealthe?

M: Oh no, my lady, I am the same humble cobbler I have always been. Though I have increased my clientele twofold since the last harvest; my rival died of the bloody flux and I have taken most of his business. Thou lookest most lusty, are you with child?

L: Unfortunately I have not been able to conceive due to being impaled through the womb by a rusty carriage wheel spoke. You remember that? It has not fully healed, and I must drain the wound most evenings. And I do change my wedes constantly. However I have found quite a man-friend; we shall wed this coming plague-break.

M: Congratulations, my lief!

L: It will be a most solempne ceremony. Why don’t thou come? Certainly thou hath a mistress?

M: No, I am single these tymes. A cobbler’s work is a busy one; I have no time for copulatory pursuits. Also I have been fighting off a bad case of the ague.

L: I hasten to believe thou. Thou art such a comely segge!

M: Thank thou, my lady. Thou art too kinde.

L: I shall always remember our love. ‘Twas like a Northumbrian ram mounting a Welsh lamb. I get light-headed just thinking about it. Or perhaps I have too caught the ague. I must go to visit the leech-keeper presently. It was very nice seeing thou again!

M: The pleasure was all mine. I hope you survive long enough to thee wedding day, and best wishes to your new lord!

Lady Gwendolyn shuffles off down a muddy alleyway. As she walks, clumps of crust fall out of her dress. What a woman, Mr. Forthwind thinks! He proceeds to masturbate in the horse stalls.

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